My sister and I have always been close.
As children we frequently shared a bed and, when very young, bathed together.
It was very common for us to touch and fondle each other, especially in the genital areas. This continued as we grew older. Nothing substantial happened till we moved to a farm in the country. We had both just entered a new junior high school where kids openly talked about sex. Like anyone else, we were both curious. One night when we were sleeping in the same bedroom, we started talking about it. We both wondered what went where. The next step was to get into the same bed and experiment.
I penetrated her and started to thrust.
It hurt a little, so we just decided on thrusting enough to cause a sensation. On the nights everyone else was out of the house, we’d undress and begin to fondle each other. This consisted mostly of kissing and touching her breasts, vagina and butt. We experimented with doing it standing up but never could get it right. This continued through the rest of the year. At that time I was 15 and she was 12. When we moved to an apartment it died down. One night, while watching TV, she asked me to massage her legs.
I slowly worked my way up and, before I was aware of it, had her panties down. We undressed and were on the sofa 2-3 hours before moving to the bedroom. This set the stage for everything that happened the next year or two. The first time I realized that I was REALLY interested in her sexually happened shortly after the TV episode. One night she wore a pair of thick pajamas that we were having trouble getting off.
I rolled her over and pulled off the bottoms. As soon as I saw her ass I knew I’d never see anything that beautiful again.
I started to fondle and kiss it and pretty much lost control, we both did. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand what it meant and what I was feeling. After this episode we talked about intercourse and wanted to do it. We were also both scared stiff that she might get pregnant. As a result, we stuck with the usual routine.
As we got a little older this eventually died down again and finally stopped altogether.
I no longer had it on my mind—or so I thought. About 6-7 years ago we were at a party and she indirectly asked if I was still interested (maybe using incest as a verb isn’t so indirect).
I was caught off guard and couldn’t say anything. Later, she approached me and asked again, in no uncertain terms.
I felt that she was under some stress (Long story) and I also felt like I could be taking advantage of her by agreeing. The moment passed and we haven’t discussed it directly since. However, those discussions made me aware that I still wanted her and had deep feelings for her. That will never change.
At this point, I don’t know what will happen.
It might help to simply talk with no promise of resumption, which would allow me to tell her my feelings. She shares them, but I have no idea to what extent.
If the relationship is to resume, which is what I hope, she’ll have to decide.
As for me, I feel no guilt whatever, it serves no purpose. What happened came about because of deep feelings. We’ve always been close and open with each other–perhaps as a result of all of this. That gives me hope for better things.