This all happened about six years ago when my sister was 19 and I was 23 years old. After the one time experience we did not talk about it and left it like nothing happened. Naturally I thought a great deal about it after I got my daughter. There is now an opportunity with my sister to talk about the event and this gives me the possibility to tell her that I still love her very much and that what happened between us was not something that I see as wrong but rather something that we needed to do in order to learn and grow. Still I am fascinated by incest on the mother/son relation. This I can explain: When I was six months old I was adopted by Dutch parents who lived in the U.S.A. (Seattle). Right from the moment of birth I was taken from my biological mother so that I did not have any physical contact with her. This is something that till the day of today I miss. The protection and the welcome that I think any person needs to start his or her life has been something that no other woman and father could replace, although my adoptive parents, especially my mother, have tried to give it to me.
I am convinced that this gap has played a big role in my sexual development in that I’ve been looking for love, understanding and protection in the time where I was the most vulnerable, my puberty. Still I realize that putting my interest in the right place, incest is rather a search for a protected place where I can let go of all myself made restrictions in order to stay healthy and in touch with myself. This of course in order to survive.
I am very interested in talking more about this subject, to find out and maybe help other people to understand more of this taboo. A subject that hurts people instead of elevating its taboo so that feelings of love don’t get twisted into a frustration that has a negative effect on all the parties concerned.